Builder/Negotiator

Last night I was waiting for Andy to come home and got caught up in 20/20. It was about why do certain people fall in love with one person but not another. A doctor has done brain MRIs to try to see what causes this. I found the whole thing kind of intriguing. One of the most fascinating parts was when they talked about "First comes Marriage, Then comes Love." It documented the "engagement" of an arranged marriage for a man living in America (whose original nationality was Indian) and a girl from India. The marriage ceremony lasted for 3 days, and it was absolutely amazing. They didn't really know each other, but by the end of the ceremony, they felt in love. 20/20 also reported that the divorce rate for arranged marriages is around 5%, where those who marry for "love" is closer to 50%. It makes me think that people are marrying for the wrong reasons...like, they looked for a kind of person they had on a list, not someone that they would actually be able to live with. The doctor doing this study created 4 different categories of people and then showed which ones generally go well with the other. The most common "good" combination is one being Negotiator while the other person is a Director. I thought that was probably the category that Andy and I fit in, but I couldn't decide which of the two of us was the Negotiator and which of us was the Director. I found the test analysis online today and took the test because of my curiousity. I found that I am primarily a Builder but also Negotiator. So, I'm a combination, I suppose. I wonder if I can get Andy to take the test when he gets home. Obviously we're a great match. You can go here to read all about my results... do you think it's me?

ice & snow

I am grateful that I have a job that can close it's doors during bad weather. Our city and county have been placed under a state of emergency. They are reporting over 150,000 people without power in the tri-state. Unfortunately, Andy doesn't have a job like mine. Someone has to be there all the time. We went outside around 6am to try to clean and dig the car out. He finally called to tell them he wouldn't make it by 8am, but that he would get there as soon as he could. We went back out and kept trying. Thankfully, about 3 other guys came out to help us push and pull the car until he finally made it to the main road. Last year I was able to push the car out, but I was more timid with so much pushing and shoveling this year with the pregnancy. I sent him off with a large bowl of chicken stew and got a phone call about 9:30 saying he made it to work. We had very little sleep last night because all the trees around our house kept breaking and landing on our house and in our yard. There's a lot of clean up work to do when the snow and ice leave us. I'm not sure how much longer we are going to have power...it's still on, but several of the wires are torn, ripped, and the box is off the house. Hopefully we can stay warm and happy during the cold snowy weather.

The Baby...

So, I must admit that things didn't go as I expected when we had our ultrasound today. The baby is fine though, and seems to be growing at the correct rate. They estimate that it weighs about 8 ounces...so, I'm carrying around a 1/2 pound baby. I wasn't really impressed with the technician (although the night before I dreamed that Timothy was the technician -which was kind of scary.) Anyway, we chose not to find out the gender of our baby. I have to admit I'm a little curious, but I closed my eyes for that part. The heart, kidneys, spine, brain, stomach, blood flow, etc. all seem to be doing what they should. The baby likes to move a lot and run away from the transducer probe thing that they use. I don't think the baby liked being squished. Anyway, I was expecting 3D images -which didn't happen...and I'm hoping for the CD that was originally promised but I don't have yet. It really just makes me more anxious to see the real baby. Five more months...I think Andy and I will need most of that time to really get ready although I think it would be fun to just have the baby in my arms right now.

I Think I'm in an Awkward Stage

This is how I've been feeling about most of my clothes recently...

So, What's Next...

I think I'm feeling a little disappointed. It happens when I have these ideas in my head of how I think things should go, but then real life doesn't play out like it did in my head. Does that make sense? So, now it appears that I'm dealing with gestational diabetes. In a way, I'm quite sure that I'm blessed that I know things the average person might not know and have "caught it early". (I reported my suspicions to my doctor and was tested at 13 and 15 weeks instead of the normal 28 weeks.)

In a way, I'm disappointed that I can just have a happy, normal, problem-free pregnancy. My results weren't really so bad. All my levels were normal except the 2nd one -the one after I drank 100grams of dextrose. (Eugh) So, it's not terrible. But, I'm pretty sure that as pregnancy progresses so does insulin resistance. I'm probably concerned about things that won't even matter, but I so want to protect this little baby jumping around inside of me...and yet, I feel helpless - like my body is turning against both of us and there's not much I can do about it. So, I still have to hear from the doctor about her final orders of what I'm to do. It most likely includes a trip to a maternal-fetal dietician (which sounds expensive), glucose checks, and dietary changes.

Sometimes it really helps to be a nurse and know things, and sometimes I wish I was more in the dark. In this case, it's both. Because I'm a nurse I'm not in panic mode because I wasn't normal...I feel that I have a good sense of what's really going on. However, I realize that this is just a sign for my future. If the diabetes goes away and is just gestational, my odds for becoming diabetic in the future have just risen a great deal -I wish I didn't know that.

I'm sure if you read this whole post you're thinking, "wow, she's really stressed out." But, actually, I feel quite at peace with just a hint of disappointment in my heart and lot of hope for the future.