Tuesday, September 30, 2003

just some thoughts...

So, I was reading this book, The Unquenchable Worshipper by Matt Redman (he's the guy that wrote 'heart of worship'.) The whole book is good (I just finished it), but when I got to the end something just awed me to think of all that's to come...the book said, "The more we see of Jesus, the more we know there's still so much to be seen. The more He touches our lives, the more we realize our desperate need for Him to consume every part of us." And when I read that, that's what I wanted. I've always wanted that, but it's so hard to actually be able to get there...and while school is going on -man, it's hard to do anything but school. Dorito, Mary, and I talk a lot about how we don't have time for life to actually happen because nursing doesn't allow for that. When my friends suddenly die in a car wreck, when Dorito has to deal with all the family issues she has, when Mary just needs to talk to her family, when we just need a moment to talk and cry -we can't...there's no time. We can never separate ourselves from the duties and responsibilities of school and how it never ends and never allows for life to happen. And more than that, school is so overwhelming it becomes so difficult to allow God to consume us...we try -and that's why I love my roommates. But in the back of our mind it seems that we can never fully separate ourselves from the thoughts of what we must get done. I suppose if you think about it, that's probably what 'real life' is like. I suppose that your employer won't care...so, I guess that's why it's good to have people around you who are so into Jesus and God and want you to be too. School seems to make worship difficult. It's more a ritual -I go because that's what God, friends, family expect of me...and I like going, but am I really worshipping? I want to want to worship God with everything that is in me...I want Him to know that I love Him more than anything -not just because He knows everything, but because He can see it in my life...

Okay, so maybe I'm crazy...and maybe I rambled on a little too much, but those are my thoughts right now -I just wanted to share them with you.
Psalm 103:1-5

Monday, September 29, 2003

wow...do you know what day it is?

so, do you ever have those days where you just realize how much life has happened in what seems to have been a very short amount of time...well, that's what I feel like right now. I had a test and all -but today was a good day. Oh, and you know those other days where you just feel so incredibly blessed with all that God has given you? Well, today was that sort of day too...
God's so awesome...isn't it great?
Oh, and if you haven't seen the picture that andy put on his site from his family reunion weekend, you should see it because it's where I wanna be :)
Alright, well...I think that Mary and I are in charge of having supper ready tonight...and I have no clinical tomorrow.

OH, the possibilities that await me :)

Thursday, September 25, 2003

my model :)


***okay, for those of you who missed out on the virtual model replication of me...well, that's sad for you. The girls and I had loads of fun with it, but it's just not working quite right now...who knows why? ***


just because

So, I had the school clinical again today...and yes, it was AHS again -but something was different. Maybe just because I knew the routine when I went today...something. I'm not sure. But I really liked it today. I have to say that eating lunch with the faculty is odd...but interesting. It reminds me of recess...and now I'm like one of those that is able to see what happens behind that special door.

For real, the highlight of my day:
Nathan (a student at the school and one of my campers this summer) came in to get his meds...and when he saw me he ran to me and attacked me with a hug -and when I say "attack" I'm not kidding :) He said, "Oh, Amanda! You came back!" I said, "yeah I did." He was so excited and I felt so special...thanks nate...

alrighty, so I suppose that's about it. I mean, nothing really absolutely wonderful happened today. Tomorrow I can sleep in...but I feel like having a party tonight!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

just another wednesday...

well, if you'd like I can tell you all about it. Of course, I got up later today because today wasn't a clinical day...I think 9a.m. was the time...maybe a little after. Much to the relief of my room mates, I took a shower. :) Then, off to classes. I ate lunch at approx. 11a.m. (not because I like to eat lunch early, but because it's the only time I have to eat until 3p.m.) I ate chicken, of course. It was yummy. I haven't felt really great today -physically, that is. Emotionally, I'm great :) Let's see...then I went to three more hours of class...fun, let me tell you. I left class and started the short walk home...but realized that dorito and mary weren't with me...after getting more than half-way there, I turned around to go back and look for them...because, what if they were waiting/looking for me? Well, there they were...looking for me :) We finally walked home and sat and talked about stupid stuff...oh, wait...just kidding. We all went to the bank with dorito (she has issues with the bank) and then I suggested that we walk to the christian bookstore to see veggietales...we were there for an hour. Oh well. We came back...I don't really remember what happened, but I soon left so that could take care of Prof. Penhorwood's house/cat, run home and get several things that were missing from the apt, and then go to church and be the awana person that I am. I only had five girls tonight...but boy, were they full of energy-which is okay, because whenever I go to awana, I become probably the most enthusiastic leader there...mary's energy is pretty big, but she wasn't having such a great day today. So anyway, I got back home around 9p.m. to see dorito and mary watching the end of a movie...then we listened to music and laughed some. I just finished playing cards with mary -no worries, it was a harmless game of speed...we're tied, but never fear, the cards are shuffled and ready for tomorrow's match.
Tomorrow is a clinical day for us all...mine's a pretty laid back, easy clinical. Nothing too stressful about sitting in the AHS clinic with the nurse all day long. Mary and dorito have way more to do...but I start all that next thursday...I'm almost excited...putting in IVs and catheters and ng tubes -only a nursing student would love such things.
Anyway, kind of one of those regular days...one that I probably won't remember a thing about in ten years...unless something drastic happens in the next hour and a half, or so.
oh, p.s. the apt is extremely hot tonight...I'm not sure why because there are storms out (earlier, it was my all-time favorite weather outside...) Anyway, I think it's fairly cold outside, but it's burning up in here...even with the windows open. I'm not sure what the problem is...but hopefully I don't sweat too much while I'm asleep tonight.

Okay, this was a gondo-sized blog...sorry about that. I hope that you have a fantastic day :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

I LOVE MY ROOMMATES!!!

there are few things as wonderful as sitting in a room with three really great friends and try to study and end up laughing more than you'd ever dreamed possible. Friends are good...and mine are great! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! :)
Where I used to be...

So, today I had my school nursing clinical...a pretty laid-back kind of thing, which makes me fairly happy. But, it just so happens of the 38 people in our class, I was the only one assigned to Anderson High school...yes, the one that I attended for nine months out of my life and where I met some of my most favorite people. The thing is, I'm not so sure working in a place where you used to be a student is such a good idea. It's all so weird. Anyway, since I never went to see the nurse while I was AHS, it was kind of a new experience...but they still had Channel One with all the announcements, the main office looked the same...I walked by where Andy's locker used to be, remembered when Gwyn fell up the stairs and always took me to my class. And the worst thing is that everything is the same and so very different at the same time. Everything looks the same, appears to have not changed...but the people and the activities are all different. It's kind of crazy how five years can make such a huge difference. I'm in awe still.

Anyway, so this is what I get to do again Thursday...another day of just hanging out in the nurses office at AHS. Funny thing is, I never dreamed five years ago that I'd be in that building hanging out with the nurse.

God's funny letting us surprise ourselves like that, huh?

Monday, September 22, 2003

Freedom?

I had some stuff all blogged out, and then I decided that I didn't really need to leave it up for anyone to see...strange how I feel so constrained to keep everything that I want to type all inside just because of how somethings are scary.

Oh well, I had a wonderful weekend -filled with parades, andy, and...sleep :)

I miss bubby, but I really love timothy too :)

I hope that everyone's having a great day. I'd love to blog more -but, I just can't...due to time and my new frustrated fear.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

My Friday nights :)

Alright, so school was long -and not so much boring as tiring. But, that's okay...because it's school and what else should I expect? We had a quiz today in nursing...and I feel pretty good about it.

All this week I've been planning to go the the Tree of Life coffee house where David was preforming his first solo gig. :) It was fun...it was relaxing...and it was exciting seeing people that I knew and feeling like I actually belonged there. Mary (being the amazingly wonderful friend that she is) went along with me. She had fun too...we tried to do homework, but mostly I sang along with David. But, it was stress relief so that's okay. (I love you David!)

Umm...so, tomorrow Andy's supposed to come -I'm trying to not get too excited about the Stop Light Festival, but I am...I just can't hide how insanely happy I am. Mary's driving a tractor, for crying out loud! How much more exciting can something become? Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this weekend, but Monday's a killer day...so, I suppose I'll try to balance a little school with a lotta fun :)

Alright, so I'm off to bed now -sleep sounds good...


Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Quotes?

If any of you have ever heard of our stupid wall, you'll be happy to hear this: if things go as planned (which may or may not happen) I will choose a weekly quote from the "Stupid Wall" and put it on my blog every week :)

This makes me happy, how about you?
The Devil's in Central Indiana!

So, ever since Sunday Mary, Doris, Tracy, and I have been saying that the Devil is in central Indiana...I completely believe that it's true. However, I think that it's also safe to say that the Devil has been to several other places. My aunt has had to deal with more death in the past eleven months than I would ever care to imagine. She's so in my prayers, and I feel bad for all the families affected by this most recent death...but, God's plan and His will for life is so much more than what we can see. He knows what's going on and it's just so hard to understand why such bad stuff is happening...and yet, that's okay. Life goes on, and we just have to use whatever amount of life we have left in a way that's pleasing...Glorify and honor God and love people in the process. How amazing is God's plan...I wonder what it will be like in Heaven...I can hardly wait - and yet there's so much I want to do. My dad laughs at me because the thing that I most fear about dying is that my room will be a mess :) Yep, I'm weird. I just can't bear the thought of people having to deal with my room being a mess and having to clean it up...it's the worst thing I can think of -and if that's the worst, then that's okay :)

"Amazing love, how can it be? That You, my KING would die for me?"
How can such a big God love someone so small and insignificant? He's so amazing.

Monday, September 15, 2003

senioritis???

In all honesty, I've never been like this before...this lack of studying. I don't really want to do anything...I just want school to be over. But, I'm having fun...and I'm learning...and I am (at times) forcing myself to study. I guess that is good. I'm actually being a better student this semester than I have been in my whole life. Who knows what that will mean for tests :) Maybe I'll be amazing. Too bad I won't graduate with honors...that's kind of sad. The thing is, I'm gonna be right on the line...and everyone will just think that I'm average...but what should I care what others think, huh? Oh well, I've worked hard...I'm sure you're proud. Mom and Dad are...they said so. I suppose all I can say is I tried my best at that time...and my best is all I can give. So, now...with this pep talk I've just given myself, I'll go and study some more now. Thanks for the encouragement everyone -I'm feeling a little down today. (Maybe because I didn't get to sing just whenever:) Okay...

Congrats Mom and Dad on 25 years together!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2003

What every bride to be should know...

Alright, we went wedding dress shopping today for dorito...and it was fun...the dressing room...hilarious, but everything is so much and beautiful and such! Anyway, a word to all the brides to be : don't ever order your dress online unless you've seen it in person and tried on several before buying it online...it's just not the same and you'll wish you did it different. It's so true.

So, that wedding dress stuff is mostly what we did all day. We ate at Golden Corral, and it was absolutely marvelous :)

My bubby, Jon was in a wreck. I called him today, and he seems to be doing okay....if you read this bubs, I love you lots..and I'm glad that you're okay.

I'm giving up singing for two days (or trying to) to prepare for my chem. dependency clinical. Man...I've got it rough. First, dying of cancer and now I'm "chemically dependant." Who knew I was in such bad shape?

I think that besides a little studying this afternoon, that's about the gist of my day...a little sad, but not too much :)

I feel happy!!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2003

What about procrastination?

So, last night Mary, Dorito, and I stayed up until 3:30a.m. trying to finish that insane ob paper! Craziness. Anyway, so we got up for clinicals this morning. We got back about 4:30p.m. We laid on our beds thinking about what it would be like to sleep for a while, but mostly we just enjoyed talking and laughing :) Good times.

Anyway, so I decided to go ahead and read my three chapters of one of my books...then, I fell asleep for about 30 minutes. Doris woke me up and we went to get food...I ate chicken :) The weird thing is, when I got back I was really motivated to do things -I read another chapter for another class, wrote three entries for my cancer diary/research, and read 70 pages in another book that I have to do a book review for...Then, I made two cards for my SON buddies. I don't know where all this energy came from. I might read a little more (probably Bible this time) before I go to bed.

Today's been great...God has bless us. Remembering how Sept 11 effected me a couple of years ago makes me even more grateful to God that we have been as fortunate as we have. Lots of my family is leaving Sept 13th to go to Iraq...and it's okay, because God is watching and protecting and is more loving than I can even fathom. How awesome...how incredibly amazing.
Life is precious, life is sweeeeeeeeeeeet!!!

I am so thankful to God for all that He has given me. School is tough people...but somehow I'm quite happy and content through the whole thing. My roomies are great...and I love them!!! And school has lots for me to do, but somehow I've been able to get it all done. I am so thankful. Finally, I'm taking a good religion class too. Have you ever read Home to Harmony? It's a great book....we only have to read the first one in the series for the class, but I think that I'll check out the others from the library because I like it so much. :)

Ahhh, yesterday I tried to blog and I had so many interesting things that I was going to say...but something happened, and everything disappeared. That's sad, but it's okay.
Yesterday I had the CPR certification test (this one was just the test with no before-hand prep...a little scary, but okay still). After that, Dorito and I went to the blood bank to give blood. We set records...she was the slowest to give all day (14 minutes) and I was second slowest (12.5 minutes). It's odd because we usually give much faster...maybe we should drink more fluids like andy says :) He's smart and knows stuff, so I should probably listen.

Alright, just one last exciting thing...my dress for dorito's wedding!!! It's going to be yellow...I'm so excited!!!

Love is in the air...God's so awesome!!! :)

Monday, September 08, 2003

sleepy anyone!?!?

oh, for some reason this college deal is making me oh so tired! Sleep seems like such a wonderful thing, but there's not time to do that. I'm using this blog time to hopefully wake myself up. I think it's just that everyday is just so jammed full of stuff...usually only a small enough break to eat, and if I'm lucky check my email.

I really am absolutely loving school, and that's good, right? Alright, so enough of that.

You know, how when I entered the nursing program the profs all said our brains would be completely transformed by the time we were seniors? Well, it's true...and I feel really sorry for anyone who decides to eat a meal with a nurse -especially if there's more than one nurse at the table. But, I love it...and that's good.

Highlight of my most recent life- I can see andy! It's kind of weird, in that awesome, wow, amazing, oh-so-cool sort of way. His webcam deal is just exciting...don't worry, I'm sure I'll be really excited about something else soon.

Jon finally emailed me -mostly because I emailed him, finally. I just was unaware that he had access to email, but now I know that he does...and that makes me really happy. The message he sent was awesome, and I love him lots.

Today was dad's surgery. Thankfully, he came through without problems...and actually, he came through quite quickly. The surgery generally lasts an hour or hour and a half...his was done in less than 30 minutes. Dr said that everything looked good. He went home about three hours after the surgery began. Amazing this technology that we have today.

Alright, so that's about enough rambling now. I must needs revive my nursing friends in order to jam our brains full of more info. Tonight is NG tubes.

happiness all night long :)