Six

 Six.  A family of six.  That just sounds kind of big.  Maybe because I grew up as a family of five, Andy grew up as a family of five, and we've been a family of five for more than two years.  But, we are indeed a family of six.  And, they are beautiful, these kids I've been blessed with.  Sometimes I cry for the decisions I have made and the things I feel like I'm taking from them, but they are happy.  They love life and each other.  They are strong and smart.

I love this family of six.

The Semester is Fini

Let me just say "AMEN".

I no doubt returned back to school too early, but I felt like it was sort of required or expected of me.  (I returned when Maeva was 6 days old.)  It's messed with my healing from the delivery and pregnancy and I regret it.  I also did not love my class, so that didn't help.  But, now we are done and so are all the Bible students...so, it's graduation day, and I'll say it again, Amen!

She made an entrance

June 3, 2015

Maeva Elisabeth

Highlights:

• I wasn't sure I was in labor
• I was at the birthing center just 3 hours before she was born
• easiest labor, hardest delivery
• instant love
• we hadn't decided completely on a name when she was born
• it was a water birth 
• no medications, IVs, or blood work
• first time I wasn't induced
• in Québec, lots of French around me
• a little dramatic at the end
• felt immediately better...which was amazing
• left less than 24 hours after her delivery

All that and I still go back and question some of my decisions.  But, she's here and she is well loved - by her mommy, daddy and all her siblings.

**OH, and the post delivery snack was AH-MAZING.  One of my favorite parts of the birthing center :)

36 weeks and feeling it...

This has been the absolute hardest pregnancy I've experienced.  I don't really want to do the being pregnant thing again.  For the first time I really think that my body isn't tolerating it well.  I struggle with feeling guilty...because I feel angry at how my body reacts, which is of course the result of pregnancy which is the cause of the baby, and in turn makes me feel like I'm blaming the baby.  I don't.  Not really.  But, in those emotional moments when I hurt, can't move, and seriously am just struggling to get through the day - I wish I wasn't pregnant.  But, that's kind of like wishing I didn't have the little baby growing inside me.  And, that's not what I want or mean...which then causes the tears and this vicious emotional roller coaster I seem to be on.  That, plus being in another country, going to school, trying to learn another language, and keep up with the kids.

Even though I don't want to live through this pregnancy again, I don't want to forget that it happened.  And, so I'm grateful to be married to an awesome boy that loves me and cameras...and he took some photos to remember this fourth pregnancy.

Rain and Snow

The weather has warmed, the rain has come and the snow is finally melted...

Speaking in Tongues

So, this happened after only 4 months here.  I didn't think I was really very nervous at all, but apparently I spoke incredibly fast - in French.  If nothing else, we were appreciated.  And, I'm glad that we have the opportunity to share.

L'eau Vive - April 12, 2015

The 4th Shower

I was afraid of going to the shower.  Excited, but afraid.  Why?  Because I was afraid I couldn't have fun.  School has been demanding, intense, frustrating and hard.  I have several projects, papers, and tests all due very soon.  We also have a presentation tomorrow at church in French.  Everything seems to be piling up quickly and at once.  I want to excel and quit all at the same time.  In the middle of it all, the lovely girls (okay, women) in the Béthel language program wanted to throw me a shower for the coming baby.  (And, I know some of them were having the same workloads that I had.)  I wanted to be in the moment.  And, I was afraid that I would just be wishing I was home studying or working on a paper or thinking about all I really had to do instead of celebrating this little life growing inside me.

But, it was great.  I laughed.  I had fun.  I was able to be

present in the moment, and that was a gift all by itself.

I'm forever grateful for the ladies that have made me feel loved even while I'm far from home.

Home...now, that's another story.

Cabane à sucre

Maple syrup.  That's what it's all about when they think Spring is on the way here in Québec.  Only, it's hard for me to believe that it's Spring with so much snow still on the ground and falling.  Maybe their idea of Spring is different than mine.  But, our school sortie was to the "sugar shack", so we went.  It was a nice break from the classroom.  The syrup sticks in the snow were fun, but I couldn't eat much of it.  Those from Québec here were eating ten or more!  I would think their stomachs would be aching for sure!  The kids had a fun adventure, and it's a memory to keep forever

 

March Congé

I was SO excited to take a trip to the USA.  The main purpose was to get a carseat for the coming baby (because they're super expensive here), but we were also planning to visit Ben & Jerry's, order our food from a restaurant in English, and find groceries that I missed.

I. was. disappointed.

Vermont is the USA, but it's still not what I am used to.  The mall was terrible.  Walmart was really small, restaurants between Sherbrooke and Montpelier were nearly non-existent.  My expectations were too high, I guess.  So, I decided it's not really worth it just to cross the border.  It'd be better to drive a couple hours north to Montreal instead of in the US.  Also, it was harder to get in the US than it was to return to Québec.  That's crazy, too.

So, all in all we stayed in for a week - tried to get everyone well (because all the kids are struggling with some kind of sickness).  It was a good break from school, but I'm ready to get back to a routine.  And, Nora's ready to go back to school.  I think the summer might be long - but, maybe better when the world isn't covered by snow.

Life in transition...

Our last family photo at the Mission House (Evansville, IN)

It was so hard to post things...I should have.  The kids had lots of changes, lovely memories.  Things that I will have wished later that I written about.  But, it was hard.  The times that I longed to post and blog were things that were incredibly emotional.  But, now we're in a different place. Our lives are full of transitions, changes, and new experiences - and, I want to have some of these crazy memories recorded.

So, now here we are.  God provided the last 35% we needed in a crazy quick time 3 months, I think.  Our original plan for language school in France was changed in November, but we were able to enroll into Parole de Vie Béthel in Sherbrooke, QC.  After two long days of travel we finally made it our apartment late at night - and the use of a phone booth, too!  Life has been crazy.  Harder than I thought since it's just Canada.  But, Nora's in public French school, the other two are in the 'garderie' while Andy and I take classes.  We buy milk in bags, everything is crazy expensive, and I'm pregnant, too!  Life is busy...and crazy.  And, I'm waiting for the time when I can look back and see what God wanted to teach me...and hope that I learned something.

Commissioning Service - Dec 2014

We have snow! (And 3 beautiful kids!)

We went outside to try and take a family photo that looks wintry since it snowed.  The first attempt wasn't so great, but we tried again for the group pic a couple days later.  Love these beautiful kids :)

 The chosen family photo

 My girl - full of life

 She really is just excited to be alive.  I love that about her :)

 He'll be 3 in a few weeks...time really does go by quickly

The Polar Express

As a gift, the kids (and us with them) were given tickets to ride a train...during the Holiday season..  I tried to get the kids excited about the Polar Express idea...they seemed to like it.

We thought that we'd ride the train in Noblesville and then just go back to Anderson for Saturday night and Sunday -but we scheduled a presentation at a church for Sunday so we took the train and then drove back to Evansville...long night.  The kids loved the train ride.  Silas thought we were just sending him on the train -he seemed a little scared about that but ready to do it -and, quite relieved when he found out mom and dad were going too...

 The Bean's first Santa photo - she wasn't too happy...  :)

Black Friday?

I don't mind going to stores.  I really don't mind going to the stores when there is something I really like or want or need and it's a really great price.  But, I don't like the crowds.  And, I don't want to get up at 3AM to go fight a crowd.  I read something (I think on facebook) that said something about how only in America do we go out and trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what we already have.  Ouch.  It's really true.  And, sad.

So, I didn't go shopping.  But, I did go with Andy to take some pictures of my sister-friend's dog for a gift.  I love his eyes!







And for the first time ever I had starbuck's hot cocoa.  With Andy.  It was almost a date!  And, it felt special.  (Or maybe, I felt special.)

All in all, I'm thankful.  For my friends, family, and super great husband and a little time to spend with them.

My Thanksgiving project :)

So, I was planning a surprise wedding shower for Andy's brother and his wife :)  It was fun...so, here are a few of the details.  It was pretty fun for them to show up to Thanksgiving only to find they were being showered with stuff -super fun for me, anyway.

 The great cupcake tower Andy made for me - he's a great guy :)

 The sweet treats for everyone to take

 Writing messages with tree pencils - made by Andy because he's (again) awesome :)

 The cupcakes - they were yummy.  Actually, I only ate the mint chocolate one, and it was so yummy I never tried the pumpkin

 Writing notes to hang on a "tree" we made out of limbs - the kids helped make that

 My super adorable niece...so cute

The Justison gang - November 2013 version

My heart is confused...

The death of Nathan makes me re-live a lot of the same emotions I have when I think of Aunt Beverly.  It's that mix between utter sadness for the loss of such an amazing, godly example and the relief that their battle is over and they have met their King.  It's a beautiful hard thing for me.

Today they are celebrating his life.  He touched so many people the celebration is being held at one of the largest churches in town.  A lot of the girls that I mentored at Mill Road ended up being in his youth group (he was the youth pastor) and some of them went to Moldova with him.  He was a detective with the local police and the stories of people he has led to Christ - including partners on the police force- continue to flood his Facebook page.  I feel connected to their family, for some reason even though I didn't know them personally.  And, my heart aches so badly for his wife.  My insides cry out because of the pain and my soul rejoices because of his faith.

Photo Credit- Lindsey Schroer